Why I’ve Been Gone


It’s been a whole 2 months since I’ve posted a blog. Coming up with stuff to write about can be hard, but even this is abnormal for me. There are a few reasons why I haven’t been able to post. I’ve been spending a lot of time playing the Trails series, which has eaten up a lot of my time. This alone shouldn’t be enough to stop me from blogging as I’m not literally playing these games 24/7. I very well could have written something for my blog in between but I haven’t.

The reason is that a number of factors have had me depressed, and I’ve had a mental block that has kept me from wanting to write. Dealing with the harassment of the anime community has simply killed my drive to want to write for my blog, or even continue a podcast I just started last month. Whenever I have an idea and I decide I wanna write about it, it hit a mental block and get anxious. It seems that no matter what I wanna write about, nothing feels “safe”. I end up writing nothing, which is why I haven’t written anything for my blog in so long. There was one blog I started and could never get around to finishing because it just didn’t feel safe to talk about, and I might cancel it.

I am starting to feel like I can write again and I have a few ideas for blog posts, so hopefully I’ve gotten over that mental block and can start blogging again. Coming up with ideas and finding the drive to write won’t be easy, but I really do want to become a better writer and I do want to express myself more.

So where do I go from here? Well my goals haven’t really changed. I want to grow my blog so I can express myself to more people. Obviously, this shouldn’t be exclusive to me. Everyone wants an audience, otherwise writing is a complete waste of time. Another major goal is improving as a writer so I can express myself more clearly and get across better what I want to get across. I also want to improve my analytical skills when it comes to games and anime so I can write more interesting stuff.

Another major goal is to help people better understand the media (games and anime) they consume. Maybe I can help people understand why something they think sucks is actually good, or why something like think is good actually sucks (hopefully the former most of the time). Maybe I can help people who like something gain a better understanding of why the thing they like is actually good, so they can gain even more appreciation for it. Basically, I want people thinking. There is such a wide variety out there, and much depth goes completely lost because a game or anime doesn’t go into enough depth to be considered “intellectual” enough. I don’t think every unpopular or low rated game or anime out there is some misunderstood hidden gem, but there are a lot of those. Maybe reading my blog might encourage people to think about a wider range of games or anime from an analytical standpoint, and not just the ones people commonly accept to be worth analyzing.

The hard part is actually doing that. That would require writing, which means I need to avoid all mental blocks in order to full express myself. Another issue that would make expanding my blog an issue is that in order to grow as a blogger, I need to actually interact with the blogging community. And this is another mental block for me. Unfortunately, the bad experiences I’ve had up until now have been because of this community. I’m sure not everyone in it is a terrible human being, but considering how tightly knit the community is, many people follow and support the ones that harassed me, making it very hard to trust anyone in the community. It would make me very uncomfortable to follow anyone that supports someone who harassed me, which makes it hard to fully integrate myself into the anime blogging community, which is kinda an unfortunate step. I honestly have no idea what to do in this situation. The best thing I can hope for is that by plugging my blog in various places, I can gain a following through unorthodox means.

Still, I at least have a drive to continue writing for my blog. I have multiple ideas planned for posts I can make throughout the month. I don’t think I will be able to get through everything I have planned as I’m not ready to post everything due to certain circumstances, but you can at least know that I will be making a proper return to blogging at some point very soon, so if you are a fan my blog, you can have something to look forward to.

Thanks to anyone who read my rambling. I’m still not fully comfortable returning to blogging, but I really do want to write something, and nothing is ever gonna get posted if I don’t just write something. So thanks to anyone that supported and continues to support me, and even anyone who supports me in the future.

2 thoughts on “Why I’ve Been Gone

  1. Your blog has honestly become one of my go-to places if I want to watch an anime and it was talked about in your blog. Whatever you post, be sure that you’ll have atleast one person reading it

    Liked by 2 people

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